The Departed

The agenda of the week was grim despite it being still in the midst of Chinese New year:

The lost of one’s love one is something indeed painful, and something full of grief. Especially in the midst of Chinese New year, which was suppose to be an occasion full of joy and laughter. For me this year, the occasion took a stop halfway through when the news of the death of my grandmother came on Monday night.

My family knew it was a matter sooner or later, and we had to face it as part and parcel of life; life and death its all part of life. And we all have to face it as it comes along.

Life can be so unpredictable at times, and we have to treasure it. For the case of my grandmother, little did she know that she would led her last part of her life battling cancer. She lived a healthy life throughout, but when she was diagnosed with cancer, it was also something we did not expect. And, it was a treacherous period of time for her and my family indeed.

She was a good grandmother of mine and a loving mother. I remembered those times when she would take off just to visit my family occasionally, and each visit would be a couples of days, staying at my place. And with each time, there will be lots of food that she would bring along. And the numerous culinary lessons and skills that she shared with me; make “mee hoon kuay” from flour, cook delicious yam cake from all the raw ingredients, cook a variety of dishes (restaurant style, as she used to work in restaurant), plus many other culinary ventures. Apart from that, I still remembered that she never forgets our birthdays. Each year, without fail, she can remember all our birthdays, from her youngest granddaughter to her eldest son. And each time she would give a hefty ang bao nearing the date of our birthday.

She led a full life though, and a part of me is glad that she left us peacefully. And that she was able to have at least gone through Chinese New year with the whole family for the last few moments of her life. I guess that would be what anyone would want knowing that your time is up.

“There is so little anyone can say for there are no words that have ever been invented to fit the loss of a loved one.”

Thank you grandma, for all the things that you have done, and for being there as a caring and loving grandmother of my life. You are always cherished by your family and loved ones.

Now that you are with the Lord, i pray that goodness and mercy shall follow you for the rest of your life.

Ps.Thanks for all your heartfelt condolences and encouragements.

The 牛Year

Happy 牛 year everyone!

Lots of things have been going on lately, and i just realized that i haven been updating my blog recently.

First it was Final year project, 2 IS projects, and 1 other core module project. Took up most of my time i can say, as all of the deadlines were close to one another, and knowing my group is THE BLACK HORSE!

Had couples of nights awake with the help of the new zodiac, the Ox friend, the Red Bull. Which actually manages to keep me awake for like more than 30 hours! Amazing isn't it?

But right now, all the projects are finally completed. No more presentations, not more projects for the rest of poly! Hurray!

So its a new year of the ox. What plans do you all have?

As for me there is nothing much to plan for this year except to look forward to going to army and then when i'm inside hope to ord quickly. But of course, i'm looking forward to my trips before NS, hopefully they do get planned out first.

Current plans that i can make are mostly not for this year. I'm still deciding on what path should i take after army; continue studying a degree course, or should i go out and work first, or maybe sign on the army? Which is the better choice, i still have not decided.

Let just move along man. i guess.

***

The new year the 牛 year. It wasn't fun at all for me this oxy year. All the hassle and bustle, it just dies down to no fun at all, after having been through 19 Chinese new years in my life already.

My grandmother is 74 this year, and she is battling cancer, which had her going in and out of hospital for at least the last half of 2008. She was back then going in and out of hospitals for chemo-therapy, surgery, checkups etc.

Oddly enough, for the hundreds and thousands pills, injections, and therapy, her conditions seem to be no avail.

I guess it was also quite sad for us to see her on the first day of Chinese new year at my place. Cancer had crippled her whole immune system to a point that she is just a frail old lady awaiting for people to care for her lying by the bed. Within 3 months, the destruction to her body was so great that she is now too frail even to care for herself, and we have to heave her in and out of her bed and wheelchair.

I'm writing about my grandmother is because it was probably the last Chinese new year celebration with her, unless things really change for the better.

And back to my busy busy new year.

This year was something different than the norms which was at my grandmother place. It was held at my place having mention the condition of my grandmother she was brought to my place for the celebration.

Food was excellent except this year was like pot luck cause it was usually prepared by my grandmother, but still with the usual fare that my family have each year. I do also have a share in preparing the food which i cooked stewed mushroom with "fa cai", and help in cooking the highlight of all the dishes, abalone porridge.

So lunch on 1st day was fabulous! Apart from the mushroom and abalone porridge, there was also yam cake, and braised duck, plus some other dishes.

And of course, every new year there must be ang bao, and of course some form of "game", which i can say i had no luck at all and lost terribly, but fortunately my bets were small.

Anyway, gonna sleep already. Have a happy new year.

Beautiful

Dawn, Dusk and Day.

Was bored from all the projects and decided to play around with Adobe Photoshop Light Room 2.

Higer one's expectations, greater the disappointment

It can't be help.

It happened more than once last time.

And I guess it will happen again this year.

Unless...

The New Year

Its really really been quite a long while ever since i touch this blog.

I've tell myself, one of my new year resolution, not procrastinate.

Procrastination had been my forte in 2008, and this is nothing to be proud of. I'm had been a god damn procrastinator, and damn. But, I shall, or least try to not let this bad habit of mine be brought to the new year. New year day is over, so is Chinese new year which i meant.

SO, I'm trying to start to update this blog regularly again. And my apologises for any lack of updates. More updates will come for the new year. 2008 had been a great year, and i hope 2009 will be even better.

But for now, gotcha complete my project, project and project and project. 4 of them.

Bye for now, still got a 200-300 page report to write at hand.

Two Thousands & Nine

A brand new year. Brand new hopes?

Where do i move from here?

Its Worth it After All

Went for Standard Chartered Marathon on Sunday!

Whoo Hoo! Completed the run actually, and its my first time running such a distance! 42.195 Km! Woots!

Group Shot.

Finishing Point.

Was almost limping at the finishing line! I did though - after the race. Leg still sore and pain today man! Can't believe i still have to wheel myself around the house on my computer chair.

Update more after next week man! I've told myself that i will take some time to revamp my blog too, getting boring.

ZERO time left to blog for now! Ciao.

Youth Outdoor Camp

Its a poster i designed for the camp. A little late though.

If only i had more time...

Stress level rise to the MAX lately!

Projects.

Common tests.

Camp stuffs.

Its enough to keep me busy.

School work has recently is starting to become a pain in the ass.

But i know i'll have to pull through all this and i will.

Cheers! For a better tomorrow.

Full Swing!

I apologize for the lack of updates lately, and i guess great updates won't be coming any sooner, not until i'm settled with my camp and projects and common test.

Pretty busy with lots and lots of stuffs lately. Many many things have gone on since i last left. Pretty packed with camps, cca meetings, final year project, and the mountainous school work that i have to catch up before common test finally come. (Thought is already round the corner)

Nafa is round the corner for me, which is next week, followed by my medical checkup for army next fri. Gosh! Gonna go NS soon. Anyway, i having neutral feelings for NS. I'll be just taking it as it comes along.

Camp is round the corner in about 2 weeks time, and i guess till then, fantastic updates won't be sooner!

See you when i see you! Cheers :-)

"Oh Crammy!"

Yeah, I've taken ill. Awful. And I really felt weird. Luckily for now, i'm better.

It was already past two day, and boy, i gotta say my diarrhoea was killin' me. So yeah, must be the food i ate on tue. Felt queasy and kinda vomitty after tue lunch. Or perhaps i was all this while on the verge of fallin' ill, just needed something to trigger it off.

Tue night was when everything started. Came home after Outreach reach meeting at about 10 pm plus. Felt kinda tired, and went to bed straight.

Realized i didn't even had my dinner, but was not at mind to think about it at that moment. Something just felt not right. And oh it came at around 2 am plus in the middle of the night. Woke up and rushed straight to the toilet. Its a friggin' feeling you don't wan to have. Sorry, this might be obscene and graphic, but its true. I'm peeing from my butt. Damn it, liquid shit yeah. And i got this puking sensation i almost wanna throw up and that i can taste the digestion in my mouth. Went back to bed later, but it came again 2 twice in the middle of the night. The amount of liquid my body was releasing was so much each time, and it really made me wonder how much fluid i had to replenish in order to recover those lost fluid. Argh, this just made me felt so weak and busted.

Woke up in the morning feeling drifty, probably due to the lack of energy since i did not have my dinner last night and battling the virus. Had some Chinese medicine after my mum knew of my ordeal last nigh. Omg, today is 29th Wed, have meeting with in-charged later. So i think i better go to school, have stuffs to settle. But f*k, how can she even forget when i suppose she was the one who call for the meeting in front of everyone and even arrange the date! This really show how irresponsible some people can get, its not the first already, and must i send out confirmation each time before each meeting? Isn't it suppose to be in her calender! Argh. Practical in school at 8 am, and i'm runnin' late. Luckily for me, my dad offered to send me to school.

My day in school was so lethargic. Was stoning throughout the 3 hrs of practical lesson, luckily for me, my team mates were there to carry out the experiment, so i had pretty nothing much to do. After the 3 hrs lesson was a break - 5 hrs long! Should i go home or not? Thanks for alvin, he went to rent a car. Not for me, but for himself, since he just gotten his driving licence. Complaining so expensive, need to get cash card, parking coupons, top up petrol, this and that la. Somehow, and don't know how, he managed to convince himself its better for him to rent a car since he is having a dental appointment and the taxi trip would cost as much. Argh, but that is not the point, when you just gotten your license, you would want to use it, so couldn't blame him. And also thanks to him, I had someone to fetch me to see a doc during the break. Really appreciated your concern. :)

Feeling better right now. I must really say thank you to those who showed care and concern to me when i'm not really myself these few days.

Thanks.

Nostalgic

Was looking at mirza's blog and came accross a post he posted on the intro of 14th committee.

The video made me felt very nostalgic. How i wish we can go through all that again. I miss you people!

So i decided to post the video on the farewell..

People, enjoy! And cherish your time together... before its too late!

School finally started.

Finally back to campus for study. Can feel the work load piling up.

Omg, FYP kicking in and I gonna better get into the mood to study.

Need to catch up on my school work especially those modules covered in year 1 and 2. Omg, i have forgotten most of them.

Hopefully this last semester in school will be the most memorable and well spent one in Ngee Ann before i finally move on.

Sober.. Drunk.. Sober.. Drunk..

Need a way to drown my thoughts.

The Days I Lived

I've just completed 5 weeks of practical training at Chemical Process Training Center, Jurong island, and yes, tomorrow is the last week! Finally school gonna start next week, yeah, i really missed school man, the long training hours, and the 12 hours shift work has been killing me. Imagine this, waking up in the morning at around 9am to prepare to leave for Jurong island, and returning home at only around 10pm. My weekdays are literally burnt! Other than that, I've learnt a lot, and hopefully it will be useful to my future.

Many things have gone on since i really blogged the previous time. Yesterday had OB BBQ at ECP, the company was fun. At least it was not some far fetch area like the previous time...at Area G. Lots of ppl turned up, mainly the year ones and the year twos, some year threes, and some of the alumni. Though i know more of the members now, but somehow the feeling wasn't too right. Went for a short cycle along with Wenting, Rebecca, HuiHong, and Eugene along a stretch in ECP. Kind of brought back memories of last year night overnight cycling with 14th comm.

My involvement in OB has stepped up lately. Right now i'm in charge of December Outreach Camp, a new direction the school is heading to attract prospective students into Ngee Ann. Planning has started several weeks ago, and hopefully, be a wonderful learning and fun experience for each and every individual of my sub comm. I'm kinda stuck with sucky schedule and can only meet you guys after 9 pm all these while, sorry for all these inconveniences caused. I'm kinda glad that things will turn out better next week, when i'm back in school. Hurray! And well done everyone for the games try out on saturday especially my two PCs and LOs for getting everything in place and done and not forgetting, of course is my hunky and pretty ACCs, Derrick and Aifang respectively for getting things along when i'm not around. A big thank you them and my subcomm!

Looks like a whole lot of stuffs too be cleared after GLC camp too. Got things trashed out during the camp, and yes, i was far from excellent. Yes, i'm severely lacking and got lots to learn. Every moment of our life belongs to the present only for a moment; then it belongs forever to the past. And i got to make the best of every moment.

I've been thinking a lot about something else these days. Something is finally plucking the silent strings in my heart. Even though i love loneliness, i guess i wanna know how its like to be loved. Some realities are born from imagination.

But i know i can't understand people enough. I can't understand anyone else, or even myself. I don't wish to hurt anyone and do not want to hurt anyone, but is so confusing between my heart and mind. I do not have any ill intentions, but then i don't know what excatly my intentions are at all.

Someone please help.

Maybe its time for some real soul searching...

"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." -Dave Tyson Gentry

Busy Busy

I'm lately damn busy... Will be back right soon.

Farewell My Friend

Today marks the day that one of my best buddy is flying off for China, Xi'an for 4 months for is industrial attachment.

We have been great friends, started even before we came to know one another in the 14th committee more.

Safe return, and enjoy your trip.

I'm Dead Beat

This has been going on for three consecutive weeks.

Great and enjoyable.

Thanks everyone.

So I guess it's more than meets the eye

There are so much feelings that fills beyond my emotional brim

Nonchalance, it weighs out all cynical thoughts

And I guess this is it

While you lost all inspirations

Backing spacing while you find the right words

Blank

Perhaps a blessing in disguise

A quiet night

Finding some comfort in nothingness